guys are only as good as the porn they watch
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
I want to be your penis for a week.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Randomize
