I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
