you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
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