so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Randomize
