I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Randomize
