'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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