i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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