Dual....:-)
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Randomize
