Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
