just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Randomize
