i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Be still, my beating vagina.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
