Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
