Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
We don't watch enough power rangers
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
Randomize
