Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Randomize
