So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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