Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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