Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
i was born a porn star she said
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
what is it with giant penises always finding me
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
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