Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
