I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
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