Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
