I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
