He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Rumble strips road head = magical
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Randomize
