you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Randomize
