Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
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