I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
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