guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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