my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize
