Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize
