hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
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