Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Randomize