make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
