Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Randomize
