i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
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