at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
God I need to hump something, right now.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize