So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize