I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
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