escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
