I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
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