After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
