ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize