i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
