Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
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