the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
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