How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
Randomize
