Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
Randomize
