maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Randomize
