so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
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