I can tuck mytits in my pants
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
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