On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
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