Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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