I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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