Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Randomize
