matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
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