Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
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