im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
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