Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
please come you make the beer taste better
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
