I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
