So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
