just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Randomize
