good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
