she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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