Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
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