If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
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