Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
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