i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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