Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize
